i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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