question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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