You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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