I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
