Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
