Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
