no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
