I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
