So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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