he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
