Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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