Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
