haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
wat bout pragnant strippers??
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
