Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
