There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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