My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
