If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
