Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
