you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
