i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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