Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
