you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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