Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
