youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I CAN MOONWALK!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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