I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
