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• (646): View more from New York

  How is your vagina???

  (941): View more from Florida

  Double booked

  (646): View more from New York

  With your butt?

  (941): View more from Florida

  Totes, candlesticks and all

  (646): View more from New York

  Yay!!

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"

  (571): View more from Virginia

  you make me proud to be your friend

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• (510): View more from California

  At what point did I eat out of your mouth?

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?

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