Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
