NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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