Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
