I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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