Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
