Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize