"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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