Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
