What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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