i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
