you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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