Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize