in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
