So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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