marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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