Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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