I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
