Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
