do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
