Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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