im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
