I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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