high people should be assigned attendants
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
