He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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