idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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