No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
there is glitter all over my balls
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