I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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