Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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