She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
