This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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