saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
