How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
