God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
