tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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