Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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