Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
