I think I died a long time ago.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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