Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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