Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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