her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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