guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
